I've been sick with strep throat (insert "awww poor Jen" here) and I've been passing the time by reading and also by watching some weird television. Today I came across a show on the Discovery Channel or one of its sister stations. It was called "Super Max" and it was showcasing a super duper maximum security prison in Ohio. I like to watch shows like this because I'm pretty sure I won't be making it into a Maximum Security prison anytime soon, and this is the closest I'll get. Anyway, this particular episode was talking about the prisoners who have never been diagnosed with mental illnesses until they came to this joint. And now there's a whole bunch of them living in this psych ward (kinda) thing. On meds and doing some group therapy, they are for the first time in their sad lives actually living normally. Well mentally normal anyway.
We meet an inmate named Brian. I have no idea how old Brian is, but I would have to guess in his 30's at least. He's a huge black guy and he's in prison for 80 years because he murdered his girlfriend and her mother (after they shot him twice and tried robbing him). The kicker to this story is that he then cut off their heads and put them in the microwave. Now maybe I'm sick but I sat there wondering: Did he turn the microwave on to cook their heads? And how big was this microwave? I'm lucky I can get a dinner plate to fit in there with enough room left over for the darn thing to rotate. And he's sticking in two human heads? Dayum! But I digress. Anyway, Brian was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic and has not one but two voices inside his head talking to him. Not to be mean to poor Brian but he looks a tad slow, missing teeth and has absolutely huge ass ugly glasses to boot. Just trying to give a visual here.
Brian works in the prison kitchen washing the dishes and pans and trays and stuff. It's sort of weird watching inmates do mundane stuff and then laugh and joke around with one another. I mean, they are in prison and they are laughing. But whatever. That's not even the best part of this story. The best part of this story is that Brian is in a relationship with another inmate - Carl. The show introduced us to Carl earlier on in the program but I barely paid attention. I cannot even remember what his crime was. He is a scrawny white guy also a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic and had floppy hair that came down over his bulging scary eyes.
Brian and Carl. Brian describes it as love. They are friends and lovers. He says he loves Carl like he was a girl. And then he giggled. He then said "Sometimes I'm the girl. And sometimes Carl is the girl." And I think we all know what he means by that. They interview Carl and he does in fact admit that he's in a relationship with Brian. And that it helps him get through the days. Someone to lean on and care about, etc. They cut back to the two of them working in the kitchen together, Brian with his creepy huge glasses and Carl with his red rimmed specs. Both men wearing the obligatory hair nets/shower caps. And when their shift is over and all the trays are neatly stacked away, Carl gets Brian's jacket off the coat rack and helps him put it on. And the two of them leave to go back to their cells.
If the story ended there I would've been quite satisfied. Gave me plenty to think about. But it didn't end there. Not sure how long later but we're in an interview with Brian again and he's crying. He needs to talk to the psychiatrist in charge of the psych ward. Apparently Carl "needs his space." Fucking Carl. Seriously, I hate men sometimes. And even though both of these men are sick fucks who killed and are now in prison, it boils down to the same old thing: Men suck and need their space and then their girlfriends/boyfriends start crying like babies. Brian is a huge black guy who cut off two people's heads and stuffed them in an appliance. Yet he sits there crying to his therapist about how Carl said he needed his space and now Brian doesn't want to go work in the kitchen because Carl will be there. He also said that the thought of 80 years in prison never made him want to kill himself. But being without Carl...whom he loves...makes him think about ending his pwn life. And there's the therapist saying things like "Well now it's time for Brian to do things for Brian." Dude, I've been where Brian is. Ok, not in prison and all that shit. But crying over a guy. Being so despondent that you cannot do anything. That you think life is over. And all you want is to be with that person. Go back to how it was. The happier times. And what sucks is that Brian and Carl are in the same jail for a very very long time. And I guess they could meet other people, but it'll suck. The whole thing is gonna suck for Brian. And I kinda felt bad for the guy. And then I thought, "What the fuck? An ugly weird murderer like Brian can get a boyfriend, why can't I?" ha ha. Sorry, but I did think that. NOT that I wanted Carl or Brian to be my boyfriend. But you catch my drift. But that story was so trippy. I couldn't believe these two were in a relationship. NOT because of the homosexual aspect of it, just because of the whole ugly mentally ill guys in prison aspect of it. But there they were. In love. Until stupid Carl needed his space. Fuck Carl. I hope he drops the soap.
